Dating & Romance Scams

Scammers are becoming more professional, especially with the rising popularity of dating apps and social media websites. It has never been so easy to create an account, put a name, picture, an interesting bio and be available to thousands of users immediately. 

Falling for a Romance Scam can be as heart-breaking as it is wallet-breaking. Romance Scams are very personal and rarely reported. This makes the scam more difficult to stop as few scammers are confronted with their crimes. 

How to Recognize a Romance Scam

First of all, many people fall for a Romance scam. In Australia alone more than 3,000 people were scammed between Jan to October 2019 and lost more than A$24 million. There are several ways to spot a Romance Scam and prevent yourself or your friend/family member from becoming a victim:

Check the photos: Romance Scammers usually use pictures of models, naturally pretty people or soldiers. Men and women are both attracted by looks, especially when these beautiful people are interested in them. This is why it has to be the first thing you check.

Upload the person’s profile picture to Google Image Search (only works on desktop) or use Google Lens on your phone to perform an image search. Sometimes you can find blog posts already by people who were scammed by someone using the same profile picture.

Meet (online) in person: Romance Scammers will make up stories why they cannot meet the person. The most common excuse is that they are living/working/serving in the military overseas. Usually, scammers will try to avoid video calls, real-time pictures and if you do have a call, the voice might not sound like you expected or might change over multiple calls.

If they do not want to meet via video or in person, they are probably scammers.

Scammers are “easy”: Scammers initiate the conversation and do not look shy doing it. Scammers “fall in love” very quickly, promising to make your fantasies come true. If someone whom you have met online recently starts doting on you and professing their love, be cautious because they may actually be after your money.

Personal media: Scammers prefer to move to personal email, phone numbers or Telegram messaging quickly because they might be exposed on dating apps or reported on social media. Quick tip: look for the scammer's email address. If the email is abstract like cutie17@gmail.com or contains a different name, it is a red flag.

Asking for money: Lastly, and most importantly – money. Scammer eventually will ask for money, it can be sooner or later, and the amount usually increases with the time the scammer spends communicating with the victim. The reasons for requesting money can include family problems, lost job or most commonly – coming to see you! Soon, problems arise, such as travel costs, visas, lost luggage, insurance and whatever the situation might present. Some Romance Scammers are smarter, asking for expensive gifts (which are sold only for money).

Simple Romance Scam Checks

If you are not sure the person you are dating online is legit or a scammer, we have the following additional tips:

Ask for proof: Encourage your date to describe the city or area where he or she lives, places they like to go, especially if they are able to name less-known places (if the person claims to be living nearby).

Ask for an updated picture: If the person claims to live far away, then asking for a selfie with a written note or particular object (like a spoon) would be a great step forward to determine whether it is a scam or not before making any commitment.

Fake video calls: Messaging platforms like Google hangout, WhatsApp, Messenger and others have a video call feature. To have a video call with a person would clear all doubts about whether it is a scam or not. However, there are still ways to fake the video call through a third-party app. Be very cautious even having a video call. Here are some signs of a fake video call.

Check online: As mentioned above, try to search for pictures, similar lines used and names. Scammers usually have multiple potential victims at the same time, and might use the same name to prevent confusion. E-mail addresses can be looked up as well, since this might be the only reference another victim can use.

If You Realize that Your 'Lover' is a Scammer

DO NOT continue the communication with the scammer. If you realize that they are not who they pretended to be, cancel all the communications. Scammers will never admit their fault. They will simply deny it or not respond to your messages.

DO NOT try to locate the scammer yourself. This is for those who lost a heavy sum of money, and the anger might be significant, but it is not worth it.  

What to Do if You Fell for a Romance Scam

It is important to stay calm. We have a few more tips on what to do in case you fell for a Romance Scam:

Recover your money: Try to recover the money by contacting your bank, credit card company or payment service provider. You can follow our guide: How to Get Your Money Back From a Scam

Collect proof: Collect all the details like conversations and proof of transactions. This might come in handy while reporting to authorities.

Report the scammer: Secondly, try to report the scammers as much as possible, especially to the platform you were approached. Social media and dating sites have built-in reporting systems that make it easier to do it.

File a formal report: This is more of a formal procedure rather than practical, but this might help your neighbour in the long term. We encourage victims to report every scam to local authorities so they can gather the information to explore the opportunities to help victims.

 

For a more information, we recommend reading this interview with a victim of Romance Scam

This article references Roger A. Grimes’ article on Romance Scams.